Your Coffee Shop
Thomas called me last Wednesday: “Hey, how about I meet you at your Starbucks?” Because he knows that is always my jam. I can be found at other coffee shops, but this one is only about four blocks from my office making it easy for me to get to any time of the day.
Now, I am not a guy that can work regularly in a coffee shop. I actually need a quiet work space to be creative. I meet people at coffee shops. Here are a few reasons why:
Your Third Place
Starbucks actually thinks of itself as your third place. You have a home and you have work. Both these are comfortable and personal. Starbucks is the other place you can feel comfortable that isn’t too personal. They want to be that place you can meet people for any reason without it being weird.
Many times I am meeting people who have never had coffee with a pastor. It kinda makes people nervous! They have no idea what awkward questions I might ask or what task I may ask them to do. I might peer into their soul and learn their darkest secret. I can really freak some people out! But, meeting at Starbucks sets the tone. I ask questions like, “How did you get to show up at church on Sunday?” or “How did you get to Chico?” If they want to talk about deeper stuff, they can use those questions to get there.
It is Good to be Known
Maybe it is just my Starbucks, but the manager is an amazing community person and she really takes care of me. I’m not exactly sure how she found out I am a pastor because that is not something I lead with. I found out she knew who I was and what church I am from when she saw on Facebook that we were hosting a traveling winter shelter. She offered free coffee for the overnight monitors! She has also figured out who my wife and kids are, even though we are rarely in there together.
Meeting the Ladies
Everyone is hyper-aware of the problems that can come from hosting a meeting with a lady in your office. No matter what size church, there’s a good chance you two will be lone. Bad news!
So, I always meet at Starbucks or some other coffee shop. I’ve had people actually question my judgement on this. “What if someone sees you out and gets the wrong impression?” I guess it is possible.
I always answer back, “You think someone might get the wrong impression about me meeting a lady at the closest coffee shop to the church in a very public and busy Starbucks and think that I have elicit intentions?! Most people think I am smarter than that.”
This is a lot easier than always trying to make sure the building isn’t empty. And, frankly, I’m not much on the counseling pastor side anyway. If what needs to be said can’t be said over a table in the cafe of a Starbucks, then this lady needs to find a paid therapist or a lady in the church.
I Can Leave
I have been trapped in my own office. People come in, drink my office and sit on my couch as if the only reason I came to the office today is to receive visitors. Actually, I came to work. Anyone sitting on my couch is keeping me from working. So, make an appointment and meet me at Starbucks.
I have had meetings at Starbucks go hours. That works because my refills are free! But, there are times when a meeting is really over in 20 minutes. When the time is right, I can get up and walk away! I don’t have to kick someone out of my office. I don’t have to say, “Lock up on your way out.” I wrap it up and go home!
What if the Guy is a No Show?
I always have a book. I never wait on anyone because I always have stuff to read! I drink drip coffee, so a large one costs me $2.30 to rent a table in a nice establishment for as long as I want to sit there. Or until they close, I guess. Good money spent!
2018 Nonnegotiable Habits for Pastoral Leadership
In the 15 years since I made the jump from youth ministry to leading a small church, I found that the learning curve was steeper than I though it would be. On top of that, there’s so much technology out there that sifting through all of it takes a team of poeple. I’m not talking about the big stuff like starting and stopping ministries or launching a building campaign. These have little to do with church culture or the missional stance of your congregation. I am talking about my own personal habits that I have picked up and the tools that I use. Here are my recommendations for every pastor of a small church to include in their workflow and personal habits.
- Use http://planning.center as a Church Management System. The People Module is free and is quite useful! Add whatever else as needed.
- Use the Giving Module in Planning Center. Add online and text-to-give features to help people under 50 give as faithfully as they want to.
- Make Invite Cards.
- Keep a clean and up-to-date website and post pictures often on your Facebook page.
- Work Mondays.
- Record yourself preach and watch it every Monday.
- Learn to use Connection Cards to help visitors reach out to you.
- Write First and Second Time Guest cards on Monday.
- Pick a book a month and read it with your team.
- Teach through books of the Bible, or use Liturgy to choose your message, or buy them! You don’t have time to be pithy or thoughtful.
- Get a regular coffee shop and regularly meet people outside the office — especially new poeple.
- Learn to present the gospel every week.
This is not a “grow your church quickly” system. It is not personality or culture driven. These are the winning habits that move the chains. Win a few first downs in a row you start to get touchdowns.
See something you think I missed? Let me know! See something you think is just extra work? I’d take the feedback!
Just Listen to You Talk!
Yeah, just listen. Record your weekend message and listen to yourself. If you can do it by video, that much better!
I know, it is painful. We are our worst critics, but we stand up on Sundays and speak for a living. We owe it to ourselves to be the best communicator we can be.
Listen, I want others to show up and hear what I have to say. It only makes sense that I should also actually hear the words that are coming out of my mouth! What I think I say and how I think I say it can be very different from the way my congregation experiences it. If I am going to get better I must actually watch and listen to myself.
So spend a year of recording yourself and watching on Monday morning. Listen for your verbal stammers, jingling change in your pocket, monotone inflection, and painful pauses. Watch for the point at which you know you lost some people. Were you as clear as you wanted to be? Did your message make logical sense? Did you take your congregation from Point A to Point B, or did you meander around a bit? How much time do you spend speaking in a passive voice? What was the Big Ask at the end of your message? Did you inspire or beat up your people? What is it you wished you would have said?
Only after you listen to yourself for a year will you begin to see the progress you will make! You will begin to recognize your bad habits as you are speaking and correct them. Your notes will get better and your strong, inspirational voice will begin to come out.
If you want to take it a step further, find a partner to watch with you. Give him or her permission to hurt your feelings. Begin to hear the same things. Get better at your craft!
You don’t have to be the best speaker in town. You have to be the best speaker YOU can be. Take the time to listen. After all, you expect others to do it!
The First Time Guest Box
We have always wanted to give out something significant to those who come for a visit for the first time. When we started we had no idea what we were supposed to give out. We tried to do a cool tiered pocket folder with each ministry in the church highlighted for visitors to take home and peruse. We failed at keeping that updated immediately! We settled on a sad handled craft bag with uninspired cookies and a letter of thanks for dropping by. Lame! We gave these out for years knowing how lame they were because we could not think of anything better.
One day I noticed the care and thought that our worship leader put into boxes she sent out to her photography clients and got inspired. Here is the current edition resulting First Time Guest Box we give out after every weekend service.
The Box
We buy these in boxes from uline.com. They are 9x8x2 inches and cost $0.63 when buying 100 at the same time. We print an invitation to connect on our website and facebook. We trim it up to fit nicely on the box and attach it with a glue stick. As you can see from this one, the corners were not glued well, resulting in that lived in look. It is a good reminder that quality control is essential!
The Crinkle Paper
We also get this from uline.com. It comes in big 10 lbs boxes that last us a very long time. It is $33 a box. It really sets the box apart by the feel of the quality and thought that went into the design.
The Good Things to Eat
We buy a dozen cookies from The Cookie Shoppe, a local gourmet cookie bakery that everyone loves! Having only one in the box seems kind of lame, but it is an awesome cookie of a size worthy of sharing. We want everyone to know it is a cookie from The Cookie Shoppe and proudly wrap each cookie individually with a sticker from The Cookie Shoppe! (Yeah, the wrappers are from uline.com as well.)
The tin is Espresso Pillows from Trader Joe’s. It is a scrumptious espresso bean and chocolate creation that is outstanding! They are $2.30 a can.
Good Things to Read
We include two books I really like. The first one is How Good is Good Enough by Andy Stanley. It is a good starter book for following Jesus. Andy talks about how people seem to think that the entrance requirements to heaven are based on our behavior. As it turns out, not one of us is good enough to earn heaven on our own. That is why we need Jesus! These books come in packs of 6 for $12.
The second book is The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller. These books are $12 a piece. Keller tells the story we know as the Prodigal Son from each of the character’s perspectives. The kicker of book is that the flagrant spender turns out to be God, who lavishes His wealth of us. He spends a lot of time helping us understand that the older son wasn’t just indicative of the Pharisees of the day, but also those of us who grew up in church. It is a power book to inspire those who are already kingdom people who happen to be looking for a new place to worship and contribute.
Each book as a bookmark that says READ ME at the top. I wrote a small description of why I liked the book enough to include it in the box. It is cut to just the right height that READ ME sticks out the top of the book.
Also included in the book stack are Invite Cards. This box has our worship invite card as well as an invitation to download our app. When we have special events coming up we also like to include a quarter cut card stock invitation to that next event.
All of this is held together by elastic loop ribbon, also purchased at uline.com. It holds everything together and looks great! They are $45 for 1000 loops.
Every Guest
At the end of the service, our worship leader prays and thanks everyone for coming. She will also say something like, “The pastors are making their way to the lobby. IF you are a first time guest with us they want to meet you and give you an awesome box with some great stuff in it! Be sure you find them!” People find us in the middle of the lobby. We give these out to every first time guest. If they come in a family, we try to give one to the family, but we don’t stop people from taking more than one. If there is a hoard of people in the family, we try to supplement with extra cookies, but they don’t need extra books!
Yes, the cost of each box approaches $20. It is a whole lot of money and, frankly, we don’t have any extra to throw away. We think this is an important investment. Once a person has decided to come for the first time, it is our job to get them to think about coming back. The boxes give guests a reason to come find and chat with one of the pastors and the quality of the items speaks to how valuable we think their visit was.
Do people come back because of the box. No. Well, not that alone. It is part of a larger effort to help people come back. No matter what you put in the boxes, it must feel like it is something valuable to you, otherwise it will hold no value to the person receiving it. That would be worse than not having anything to give in the first place!
52 Weekends a Year
We only have 52 weekends a year to make an impact with weekend worship. That might sound like a lot to you. It is not. When much of what a pastor does is predicated on how the weekends go, we must work had to not let one weekend go to waste! Each weekend is filled with possibilities. You cannot control when new people darken the doors of your church. As such each weekend you must be ready for company!
Most of what falls into this category won’t be noticed by your regulars. That’s because they may be used to things being broken. First time guests won’t know it was broken last week. That’s actually what you are aiming at! You are taking away objections that people might have experienced otherwise!
For our church, we care for every weekend with these maxims in place:
Fix what is broken before Sunday
Most any issue in a church can be fixed in just a few days. The question is, which few days is your church going to choose to solve the problem. Sometimes it is a buzz in the sound system. Sometimes ballasts in the lobby lights need to be changed out. Sometimes it is the street signage. Whatever it is, if it can be seen during weekend worship, it needs to be handled immediately!
There are times the cost will be such that you will need board action to care for it. Don’t let the issue go to the back burner just because it involved multiple people and multiple weeks.
In the first month after arriving in Chico as the pastor of East Ave Church I did a complete walk-through of the campus with two of the board members in charge of buildings and grounds maintenance. When we got to the nursery there was a whole host of wrong! There were too many corner to hide, the cribs looked more like tiger cages stacked on top of each other and the standard rocking chairs had been chipping paint off the wall for year, leaving the carpet behind the chair covered in paint and sheet rock. When I pointed this out, one of the board members said, “You know, if we ever get some babies around there we will have to do something about this room.”
What?! No self-respecting parent will ever come back to this church after seeing the low value we place on children. I made it perfectly clear that we would never have families with babies again until we fixed the nursery.
It was obviously going to take many months to solve all the problems in that nursery. That doesn’t mean we waited to get started! Before the next Sunday we had gliding rocking chair donated and fixed the paint on the wall. What can be done by next Sunday should be done by next Sunday.
Avoid random guest speakers
Your weekends are precious. The phone constantly rings with evangelists, guest choirs, the Gideons, local compassion groups and the like. Not only that, but you will also get emails about visiting missionaries on deputations and international denominational people who would like to have some face time with your people.
Be wise in how you implement these options in your ministry. If you think about your congregation as a static group of people who show up 50 weekends a year, then bringing in a music evangelist for variety and to give you a week off sermon prep sounds like a good idea. The way I look at it, we have the opportunity to have guests show up unannounced this weekend. I would like them to choose whether or not to come back based upon our regular worship, not some musician who will never be back.
Do not take your leaders out of church
Early on in my tenure at East Ave Church we hosted a Family Camp Out for anyone who wanted to go camp with us. We took about 50 people with us! When we were averaging around 80 in weekend attendance, that was a big deal! Since we were taking all of our leadership, we asked a local mission to bring in a band and provide testimonies from the men in the program. They were such a great draw that, even though we had 50 people out of town, attendance was about average!
When I got back I met with a young family that had just moved to Chico. They had been in church three times. The first two they found a lively bunch of friendly folks. The third weekend, no one talked to them. They stayed for the monthly potluck after and no one sat at the table with them. They felt abandoned and heartbroken. I tried to explain that even though the sanctuary must have looked the same, most of those people were also visiting. The reason why no one talked to you is that the only poeple from the church left in town were the anti-social people who did not want to camp!
But, we lost that family anyway. And I learned a valuable lesson. Every weekend is important! That was the last Family Camp Out.
WYSIWYG
For us, what you see is what you get! We do the same stuff every weekend. We do some awesome music, teach through books of the Bible, pray, take communion together and take an offering. That’s it. We want to always give our best foot forward. We work within that frame to keep things fresh. We do less things and try to do them better every weekend.
On occasion we will have a missionary speaker, but in such a way as to fit into what we do every weekend. If you share your church culture with most missionaries they can find a way to relate their message to the new audience. Sometimes we might bring in someone to talk about an opportunity to give or participate in something cool, but we don’t give more than 15 minutes to anything! That way we can still do all the regular things that we want new guests to judge us on.
Keeping 52 weekends a year sacred takes much work. It means not mailing in the message. It means not giving up your platform for impact. It means being ready for company at any time, because consistency is a vital part of a healthy church.
Clean
My colleague, Jeremy Rhodes, was leading a campus Christian club at a local junior high school. The students were freely sharing why their parents didn’t take them to church anymore. One student confessed that they tried a bunch of different churches in Chico, but none of them ever quite made the grade. Evidently, there are too many “dusty” churches and the mom just couldn’t handle it.
I thought, “I wonder if that family was one of the once-and-done visitors we have had!” Maybe! We have a few dusty corners complete with cobwebs and abandoned stuff. But life is so much cleaner than it used to be around here!
When I arrived at the East Ave Church to interview in July 2002, there are several words that would describe the church campus. The most descriptive may be “cluttered”. There was stuff stored everywhere! Literally! Everywhere! It was not valuable stuff. It was not trash. It was all something in between. And it was everywhere!
Every classroom had it own supply cupboard with a pile of classroom fodder along side. The lobby had an old sectional couch someone donated. There was a misplaced privacy rail in an alcove hiding bags of donated clothes and such.
My favorite piece of clutter was the electric organ – the kind that was installed with furniture sized speakers behind grill cloth on either side of the platform. It was in a lobby off the sanctuary platform. It was kind of a big guy, with the seat and floor petals all stacked up along side. I asked why it was there. I was told that 10 years before it was moved out of the sanctuary because it could no longer be kept in tune with the piano. Ten years it had been sitting there! I asked why it was still there. I was told, “You know, in case someone wants to move it back in.” Like someone is going to reinstate a tone-def organ!
In my first six months I got a 20 yard dumpster and filled it: broken furniture, clutter in the legitimate storage rooms, Christmas and Easter cantata music from the 70s, and anything that we would replace rather than repair to put back into service. Then we did it again three months later filling another 20 yard dumpster.
Some of it was easy to dump. The church people needed to be reassured that every small church and Christian campground had all the off-pitch organs and mimeograph machines they could use. They needed to be reminded that if we ever did reconstitute a choir we would want to buy new cantatas and that there was no end of surplus WWII era desks in Chico.
Other things were more delicate. No one had used the old pulpit for decades in our church. Yet, for all that time it never was far from the center of the platform, living for years in sight on the back wall. Not knowing if anyone thought the pulpit was sacred, I moved it from a visible storage spot to one no one would see. I thought if anyone would miss it, they might ask after it. No one did. It went in the second dumpster!
We cleared the lobby of anything resembling clutter to open it up. We moved all the children’s classrooms resources into a single closet. We cleaned the carpets, chairs and tables — and the walls! Anything that stayed either cleaned up or got a coat of paint. It was a remarkable transformation! Within months the campus began to clean up and appear spacious, maintained and cultivated. It would take years before we actually renovated every room that needed it or fixed every broke resource, but until then, the broken stuff at least looked clean!
Now days, I wonder what I don’t see anymore. It was easy for me to spot the problems when I walked in the doors in 2002. Now, all of the clutter is my clutter. The mismatched furniture and kitschy decor is stuff I moved in. I must regularly ask people to be a fresh set of eyes for me. What has to go? What must be cleaned? What project did we start and never complete?
We must be ever vigilant as to what our church campuses look like to a first time visitor. Bring in friends that don’t go to your church to hurt your feelings. Let them tell you all the ugly your church has to offer. It is better to hear about it from them rather than let everyone judge you!
A Guest Thank You Card
For our church, every first and second time guests get a handwritten thank you card from the person who brought the message that weekend. Yes, handwritten. WE do not send form letters or post cards — we actually sit down with a pen and write! We include in the card a $5 Starbucks gift card (sans the sleeve) and an Invite Card with the service times on it.
A typed form letter used to be the hallmark of good guest communication. Now, it just looks like one more piece of form junk mail. Do not waste the opportunity to make a big impression! Who writes thank you cards by hand beyond the obligatory wedding gift thank yous? That’s right — no one.
That is an exclusive club you can be in for the price of card and a stamp! I cannot tell you how many people come back the next week and rave about how astonished they were to get a hand written card in the mail! Most pastors never find the time to do this, but this is such a basic and simple way to increase your ability to get visitors to come back! Why? Because they know that you do not consider them anonymous and you acknowledged their effort to roll out of bed and try something new. That’s why you should hand write first and second time guest thank you cards at all costs!
Write your guests on Monday. Get that card in the mail as fast as you can! The faster you get it to your guest, the sooner they will think about returning! Really! It works that way! Monday is also a much better day to recall who you met and which cards came from people you didn’t get a chance to chat with.
First Time Guests
I write nearly the same kind of message on every first time guest’s card:
Mark and Margret,
Thank you for joining us for worship on Sunday! I hope you felt at home with us, because we think church should feel like family. Please consider coming back again soon!
Pastor Ron
If I recall meeting them I will include, “It was great to meet you!” If the guest wrote down that someone I know invited them, I will say, “Thanks for letting Kevin drag you along with him to church this weekend.” If I do not recall meeting the person on the card, I will write, “Please come again and hunt me down after the service so I can put a face with your name.” (Almost a direct quote from Fusion, by Nelson Searcy.) It works!
Take a look through your stack. Many times roommates will come to church together and fill out separate Connection Cards. I switch up the language a bit so I don’t send the exact handwritten card to the same address! Also, look for people you don’t know in your stack. Sometimes guests will not tick the box identifying them as first or second time guests. Sometimes it is because they have been coming a few weeks and you have just recently earned the trust to receive their Connection Card. Either way, if it is a first time Connection Card they should get a note from you. If you get a Connection Card from someone and you are uncertain if it is a first time card or not, check the name against your database.
Second Time Guest
If the Connection Card comes from someone who also gave me a first time guest card, then the handwritten note says:
Mark and Margret,
You came back! Thank you for trusting us again with your weekend worship. Please keep it up! Perhaps you will find a church to call home in us.
Pastor Ron
If the Connection Card marked “second time guest” is the first time they trusted me enough to leave the Connection Card, then I combine the two sentiments.
At East Ave Church, we have a Kids Zone check-in system. We use the one with our database. When new parents check in their kids, they often give us information that they wouldn’t leave on the Connection Card. When that happens, our Children’s Director writes the family with much the same idea.
The Connection Card Construction
What goes on the Connection Card is as important as how you use it. And as far as I can recall, our Connection Card is a direct result of Nelson Searcy’s book, Fusion. Here is ours. It prints three to a page. We cut off .75 inches from each side so it stacks well with the Loop when it is attached. This is ALWAYS printed on card stock. Don’t go cheap on paper — ever!
The Front Side:
The Date
We print new Connection Cards every week with the date already printed on the card. Don’t make people think. Some people, may stop filling in the Card altogether if they don’t know the date. And, people won’t get the date right every time anyway. It can be frustrating trying to guess when the Card came in. We also include check boxes at the top so that people can tell us which service they attended that weekend. Sometimes I can recall a person just by knowing which service he or she attended.
If you are just getting started and printing every week is daunting, then don’t put a date box in at all. When you get them on Sunday afternoon or Monday morning you can put the date on them yourself!
What Are You?
People don’t always know how to describe themselves, so we help them out with only four choices: 1st Time Guest, 2nd Time Guest, Occasionally Here, Regular Attender. This is important! Some people will fill a Card out their first or second time. How you use the information will be different accordingly. Some people will hide in plain sight and won’t let you know who they are until they are a regular. Let them self-identify for you!
Also, this answers the question about how long it takes to become one of the family. Answer: three weekends! After the first and second time, people should feel a sense of belonging and possession. For us, you don’t need to to hit certain mile markers before you will be accepted as one of us! We will accept you right were you stand!
Most “occasional” people know who they are. They may be coming to visit family from out of town or are true Christmas and Easter attendees.
The Digits
Give people plenty of room to write addresses, phone numbers, email addresses and the like. The more room you give, the more usable information you will get right off the Card! The more room the easier it will be to read.
How Did You Find Us?
A fabulous question! If a friend invites them, you will know who to thank! You will also know who your ally is in keeping up with the person on the other end of the Card. You may also find that people found you online, on facebook, or simply commute by the church five days a week for work. You might be surprised by what you will find! The best find is when someone you don’t know thinks enough about your church to invite their friends to come. The inviting party might not have let you know who they are yet, their friends just ratted them out!
The Back Side:
Prayer Requests and Comments
We tell everyone that we will pray for their requests each week. Of course, we love to pray for people in need. This is also a great way to find out what is happening in the lives of your congregation.
It is also a great place for comments — some encouraging, some discouraging. Your people need to know that they are being heard, even if it is a complaint. It is best to let poeple just tell you.
My Next Step
The steps in the blue box are constants on the card. They are check boxes corresponding to how to take the next step with us.
“I raised my hand today” comes from how we end every service. We present the gospel and give people a chance to respond to God. Yes, every week!
“Baptism” is an important second step for us. We don’t wait to baptize if we can help it. We baptize any weekend any service! We want to celebrate a new life in Jesus!
“I want to become a member” is a step farther. In our tradition we place a high value on quality membership, not quantity. When someone checks this box we schedule the next membership class to talk about who we are, where we came from, and where we are going.
Participation Box
This is a rotating content box that reflects the kinds of events and opportunities that people can respond to or to let us know they are coming. These match up to what we have published in our Loop.
Our Card
Feel free to steal our Connection Card (right click on the link and choose “save link as”). We print it with Microsoft Publisher. If you have publisher, feel free to download the source document and make it your own. Have a Connection Card of your own you want to share? Send it to us!
Why is this a Non-Negotiable?
The Connection Card is how people tell you who they are. This is a piece of how you will make new friends. If you and your church are into that, then you must do this! Download, change the card, and print them for this weekend!
Connection Card Implementation
If you have not read the why of Connection Cards, start here.
Here is how we use them on the weekends:
- Everyone who walks into a weekend service gets a Connection Card. It comes on our Loop (all the printed announcements for the weekend; also functions as a guest information center). Everyone gets an Invite Card. It is clipped together with a Bic Round Stic. The greeters in the lobby attempt to get to everyone with a packet. If someone sneaks by the greeters, we ask early in the service if we missed anyone and walk them around the sanctuary.
- At the beginning of the message, the weekend speaker will say in a friendly manner, “If you got a Loop today, you also got a Connection Card. If this is your first time with us, we ask everyone to fill one out every weekend. The front side you let us know who you are. The back side you let us know if you found something in the Loop you want more information about or if you have a prayer request for the church staff. There’s also some check boxes about regular and upcoming stuff. So, check it out. If you happened to be new and you don’t know if you trust us yet, we get that! Fill it out anyway and sit it next to you. If we earn your trust by the end of the service, please drop it in the offering plate when it goes by.”
- We take the offering at the end of the service. Someone will step up and say, “We want to continue our worship today by giving His tithes and our offerings. If this is not your church home, this is for our regular attenders. If you are a guest with us, we would love to have your Connection Card if we have earned your trust today.”
Why the pens?
We give away a Bic pen with every Connection Card every weekend. Many people return them after the service, but we don’t really care. We care that when a guest starts to fill out a Connection Card that a pen is available! A guest will not be asking their pew-mates to borrow a pen. We buy them for less than 10 cents a unit.
This is also a great reason to buy pens with your church name and such on it, although they will cost more. Just make sure that the pen you buy is actually functional. You don’t want pens with your church name on them that doesn’t write!
Why all the Connection Cards?
We ask everyone to fill the Connection Card out. The reason is simple: you are giving your guests cover. If they are trying to hide in the crowd, then they will also give you a Connection Card just like everyone else!
When we got started, I straight up told everyone in the congregation in attendance that the cards were important. If we all want guests to let us know who they are so we can build a bridge to them, we are going to have to all modify our behavior. I said that every weekend for a month and about once a month for the next six. When I was quizzed about it I would tell regulars that if they just wrote their names on the card, that would be sufficient enough each week.
Still, not everyone does. That’s alright because we have enough buy-in from the regulars to give cover to the guests!
Why is this a Nonnegotiable?
There is a a lot of room between being creepy and being disinterested. Your church must find your middle ground. Asking up front for personal info before you have earned trust is creepy. Not making it clear that there is a way to connect with your church will give you the appearance of disinterest. I know you aren’t aloof, but still you are letting people walk out without giving people a chance to give you contract information. You may be praying they come back, hoping you remember their names and that they know how welcome and wanted they are. You may even wake up at night wondering if that family will return. But, if you don’t pave the way back to your front door, you will never build a relationship.
Make the change this week!